“Why do you stay in prison
When the door is so wide open?
Move outside the tangle of fear thinking
Live in silence
Jalal ad-Din Rumi, Persian Port and Mystic 1207-1273
I named her a couple of years ago. She was back for another unbidden, unwelcome visit. She is a relentless hitch-hiker and has the annoying habit of arriving whenever it is convenient for her .It is always in winter. Fundamentally she is a loner yet she insists on silently hanging around people. She is the uninvited over-night guest that never seems to know that she has over-stayed her visit. I can no longer remember when I first gave her a ride - except I know it was some long ago frozen New England winter. Now she just sits quietly, some would say, dolefully in the same spot, collecting dust and sadness. . Sally Anne has horrible food preferences, all sugary junk food and gobs of not so healthy carbohydrates. We’ve had to come to an agreement on the food thing…whole grains only and NOTHING with white sugar in it. As I alone do the shopping, the rules are not difficult to follow ~ she is no longer allowed in the grocery store. Most days she sits on the couch with a pile of unread books next to her and she always rides in the car no matter how short the errand. I hate commuting with her. Her presence conjures up all the “would’a, could’a, should’a” scenarios that time cannot erase. The saving grace is that I know come Spring , the real Spring ~ not the one I simply yearn for, she will disappear. Sally Ann hates sun light. I’ve often accused her of being a Vampire. She does not smile or bark a hostile word back. She has no sense of humor. I’ve come to believe she moves to South America in April. I know her well enough now to know that she is not bilingual. The Spanish lessons have been collecting dust along with all the other books near her nest of books on the couch..She does not need to know another language. She lets the host do all the talking. She simply sits and does a weird imitation of one of those distorted fun house mirrors.
"People with SAD suffer from a lack of sunlight – they are literally ‘in the dark." ~ Dr. Raymond Crowel, Psy.D.
Certain bright lights create a hostile environment for her ~ even Costco knows this and sells anti-Sally Anne” Verilux” lights The sun really does the trick but good artificial lights helps…almost makes it seems as though she is not there. So does exercise. She hates sweat and shrinks back just a tad to avoid contact the clear stuff. But all in all, nothing works as well as sunlight. Bright warm sun light is the only message she will really notice. ‘Go away Sally Ann’ it silently screams. Come April she will do just that!