Wednesday, August 7, 2013

"I cried at first . . . and then, it was such a beautiful day, I forgot to be unhappy"

~ Frances Noyes Hart 1921

Leading a Linear Life : a view from the other side of the tracks...
~ WR 2012


I tried, quite to my own surprise, to be sad about the sudden changes life has presented.  Tears, my tears, flowed suddenly and happened at odd and inopportune moments. I started to unpack and sort at night, in part, because it is about 40 degrees cooler but also,  in part, because I didn't want to be around other people who seemed so, well, satisfied with life.  Don't they know about 'sudden change'?  Don't they know how 'confusing and off kilter' life is?   Suddenly, yesterday, I hopped in my little beat up Miata and drove to Truckee to 'cool off' in every sense of the word.  
I noticed people were smiling and I didn't need to begrudge them their moments of joy.  I smiled back and my face enjoyed the experience.  The drive home was fun.  I love the 70 mph speed limit and with the convertible top down even a beat up Miata is a cool place to be.  

Arriving at home I noticed that in spite of my best efforts to be angry and depressed (the same things actually) I have, in fact,  unpacked.  I have even moved much of the excess to the storage unit in the back yard.  So life begins again in Ferntuckey.  I have to get a job.  Retirement, that lasted oh ... a month and a half ... is over.  Oooops, too bad.   I would like to not be a nurse.  But that remains to be seen...not even sure it is possible.  I want to have time to ride my bike and work on the Miata and photograph all that good stuff out there.

Life in this mobile park is actually very sweet.  I have great landlords, my neighbors are very nice, yards are tidy, people wave and say 'hi'.  I do wonder about living such a linear life though.  Single wides, or at least the one I live in, have a living room/ kitchen in the middle and a hall way with a bed room and bath at either end.  When one lives in a straight line does it change how ones sees the world?  Of course this is compounded by the trains that move by on their straight tracks.  Adding another simple joy to an ongoing list - watching, from my front deck, the trains roll by the house.  Where are they going?  What are they carrying?  All speed and power -  rushing to keep up with what?

Life is good ~ even when it's changing.  The journey continues...

3 comments:

the walking man said...

Life is as it is and when you perceive it is when you decide a curve needs to be made straight or not (some do).


I'd like to work as a nurse...until I met me as patient, then I'd be out the door. Trust me you vacation you thought was retirement just drags on and on as time passes.

Good luck and just wiggle around a bit and you'll find that you fit in this place too.

sage said...

The drive from Truckee down to Fenley is incredible... You caught an Amtrak train in your pic--running from Oakland to Chicago--the California Zephyr on one of the best train rides in the country (the next morning they'll be in Utah and will spend that day running along the Colorado River and end up in Denver in the evening... Good luck with your transitions.

Brian Miller said...

the trains would be a def perk....interesting thought as well on the linear...ithink life is often what we make of it...and we can bend a straight line if we need...smiles....best wishes on finding that job...find something you will enjoy if you can...makes it better for sure....